April 2. [ strikes deleted ]

[reloadfromsave]

I hate

I don't want to have

Why do all of



I need a worldhop.

Comments

[stillneedawish]

No! I'm not saying that at all! I wish this hadn't happened. I wish-- I wish Prim-chan was still alive. But-- something like that was so huge, that- what could we have done?

[reloadfromsave]

Something. Anything!

[stillneedawish]

Homura-chan...

I. I know you just want to help. And. I understand. I really, really do understand. It's not-- it's so cruel. But if you tried to do something without knowing what it was you were going to do, I think-- I know it's not my place, but I think it could end badly. So please...

[reloadfromsave]

...Can I come over?

[stillneedawish]

Ah- yes. Of course you can. You know the way, right?

[reloadfromsave]

Yes.

[ and true to form she's there about thirty seconds later, knocking softly on the back door ]

[stillneedawish]

[ wow what on earth that was fast. madoka rushes to the back door and opens it, looking surprised. her eyes are dry, but very red from crying. ]

--Ah! Homura-chan! That was fast...

[reloadfromsave]

I was taking a walk.

[ this round she's performing operation tell madoka nothing at all ever ]

[stillneedawish]

Oh...? Well, anyway, come in.[ she opens the door wide enough to let Homura in, waiting until she's gone past to close it again before leading her towards the kitchen. ] I was going to make something to drink before you got here, but...

[reloadfromsave]

You still can. I don't mind. [ homura's clutching at the hem of her skirt a bit, damn nervous habits from the days when she was shy and hated herself ]

[stillneedawish]

[ madoka here will be bustling around with a kettle and opening cupboards in a lot more of a subdued fashion than usual. ] Do you want anything, Homura-chan? Warm drinks are supposed to help with shock, so... if you want something, just say.

[reloadfromsave]

No... I'm fine. [ she takes a seat on one of the counter stools, folding her arms on the table and watching madoka ]

[stillneedawish]

Okay. [ it's while she's stirring the hot chocolate powder into the mug that the movements of her spoon falter, madoka staring down at the cup. ] I still can't believe it happened. I don't want to believe it.

[reloadfromsave]

Why would that post? [ is someone trying to intimidate them? or is that the sort of thing the community does? posts the most awful moments of action for everyone to see, for its own sick satisfaction? ]

[stillneedawish]

I don't know. I don't know why it would show something so horrible.

[reloadfromsave]

[ she clenches her hands together on the counter, not looking at Madoka ]

You shouldn't have had to see that.

[stillneedawish]

[ she shakes her head slightly, still looking down into her hot chocolate. ]

It doesn't matter if I saw it or not, Homura-chan. It just - it just shouldn't have happened.

[reloadfromsave]

[ she grits her teeth, kind of wishing she had a hot drink of her own now actually. because this is giving her ideas, and she wishes it wasn't, because she wishes she wasn't that selfish and cold ]

It does. You're not used to those things. I am.

[stillneedawish]

[ she looks up at that with a barely-audible gasp; she had a feeling about that, maybe... or at least, homura-chan had always seemed like she was carrying around a heavy weight. but used to something as horrible as that? ]

Things as terrible as that? Really?

[reloadfromsave]

I've seen people die before.

[stillneedawish]

[ madoka isn't sure how to react to that; how could she be? she makes to start a few sentences, but they all falter and fall flat before she's even got to the first word. that's horrible. i'm so sorry. how can you stand there and say that so calmly?

she wants to hug her. she really does. but hearing that said so coldly... she reaches out with a hand, aborting the motion halfway as her fingers curl back into her palm.

but then she isn't really that cold, is she? when she reacted to... to what just happened to prim-chan the way she did? maybe that's just homura's way of trying to be strong after seeing something so terrible?

leaving her mug abandoned on the counter, she closes the gap between her and the other girl and slowly puts an arm around her shoulders. ]

[reloadfromsave]

[ she starts a bit when Madoka touches her, but she has a goal here, and extends her left hand, showing her ring ]

I'm a magical girl. It's not like in anime or comic books. You might be able to save civilians who get caught up in it, but you can't save your allies-- no matter how hard you try-- [ she's shaking. why is she shaking? she knows this so why is saying it out loud any different ]

[stillneedawish]

[ she wonders what it says that she's not even that surprised by Homura saying she's a magical girl. oh, of course she's full of questions - "how" and "why" and "when" being the most pertinent ones - but right now, the urge to ask them is mostly absent. ]

A magical girl? But... [ she trails off, noticing the other girl's shaking, and the arm around her shoulders becomes a little firmer, more solid. ] ... I'm sorry, Homura-chan. That's... that sounds awful.

[reloadfromsave]

It is. [ her hands clench in her lap. she has to convince her. she has to. if this can break the cycle, then it's worth it ] You have no idea what you have to give up in exchange.

[stillneedawish]

Give up?